Befrienders

Some Frequently asked questions from those befriending or being befriended

Apart from making the initial link, ABC supports all befriending friendships to make sure that everything is working out for both sides.  Befrienders are asked to fill out regular reports on how the relationship is developing and it is vital that we receive this information.  If we are concerned about anything that comes up we will get in touch with you and we are pleased to offer our support if you need it.

FAQ ABC has advised me that my befriendee no longer needs to stay in the scheme. How should I react?

Sometimes you can do all the right things, but a friendship doesn’t work out. Please don’t take it personally and please don’t ask your befriendee to explain any reasons. ABC will make sure that you are linked with someone else as soon as possible, and that you feel reassured.

FAQ I need to take some time out but don’t want to let my

Befriendee down.

Everyone’s life goes through phases, and if you find yourself in this position, do contact our Befriending co-ordinator, and she will do what is necessary to finish the link and provide someone else for your befriendee. Your befriendee needs regular dedicated support so please don’t feel guilty.

FAQ My befriendee is having a really difficult time and is turning to me more often than I am comfortable with.

Sometimes befriendees need a little extra support at certain times and hopefully you’ll be able to respond to this. However there are times when you feel too great a responsibility or that your befriendee is asking too much of you or becoming too dependent on you. This is where you need to put in some boundaries about what you can and cannot provide and make sure that your befriendee is getting support from a range of people. Ask ABC for advice on local support groups and please do remember that if there are any problems or if you have any concerns, you can contact our befriending co-ordinator at the office and chat them through.  You are not expected to handle any worries on your own.

FAQ I am a befriender but I’m expecting a baby and am struggling to befriend and cope with my new situation

This is not an uncommon question and of course pregnancy can be very enjoyable but is also a vulnerable time for those who have overcome an eating disorder. If you are experiencing difficult emotions about your pregnancy then please be reassured that this is normal, but do also get some extra support and discuss your feelings with someone you trust and with us at ABC. We understand you might need to take a break from the befriending scheme in preparation for being a mum and the demands of looking after a young baby.